When you’re engaged to the person you love, the sensible next step can be to start planning the wedding. However, when you become bogged down by the smallest of details, from napkin colours to seating charts, this can cause a lot of stress. If not properly managed, you may find that your mental health truly suffers at this time.
By putting some plans in place, you may be able to better protect your mental health, and make the planning aspect of your wedding that much enjoyable.
Focus on the Important Aspects
It can be tempting to fixate on each and every part of the wedding itself. Some women may also have had ideas about their dream wedding since childhood, which can put more pressure on the event itself. Keep in mind that a single day isn’t really the goal here. While it would be nice for everything to turn out perfectly, the chances are that some things may not be able to go exactly as you would like.
Ultimately, your wedding exists so you can become legally bonded to the love of your life. Keep that single thought in mind throughout. After all, the wedding is a single day, and you will have the rest of your lives to be able to spend together and even experience some of the aspects that may have to be left out of your wedding.
It’s All About WE!
Even if you do have ideas that you would like to incorporate into your wedding, you may need to step back and speak to your partner about them. Some of your dream plans may not align with theirs. While many people often assume that the bride-to-be will make any arrangements, that isn’t always the case, nor should it be. A decent amount of compromise may be required so that your partner can have some of their choices included too.
While this might be disappointing, it can actually help you in the long run. By allowing your partner to make their fair share of decisions, this can take some of the work off of your plate. This also means that the burden of decision-making, and the stress of arranging details, can be shared.
A marriage should be about supporting and helping one another, so why not start it before your big day?
This can also help you to work on communicating effectively, which can be key to a successful partnership.
Spend Time on Other Things
You might have noticed that all of your discussions and free time outside of work or parenting are solely about your wedding. Although you might need a large amount of time to liaise with each other, and service providers, about the day, it can be unhealthy to allow it to consume your life.
Some people might find that they feel more motivated and positive about making wedding plans if they allow themselves the time to engage in their usual leisure activities too. You may find it helpful to set aside specific times or days when wedding planning can occur, but allow yourself to relax and unwind outside of these.
Talk About It
In the run-up to your wedding day, you may find yourself feeling stressed, tearful, or even anxious. While some mixed emotions can be normal, others may signify that your mental health is at its limit from planning and trying to make sure everything is just so.
Rather than keeping it to yourself, it can be good to discuss how you are feeling with others, whether that is your partner, other family members, friends, or even doctor.
They may be able to offer assistance or suggestions that you have yet to consider, act as a sounding board, or, in the case of doctors, help you manage your stress with medication or talking therapies.
Keep Your Sleep Routine
Spending long evenings altering your plans, or laying awake at night trying to make decisions, may disrupt your mental wellbeing, as well as your physical health. Creating a good sleep routine that allows you to switch off from these thoughts can be imperative.
You might want to remove all tech from your bedroom, to help you resist the temptation to trawl through the internet in search of wedding items.
Keeping your room dark and cool can also aid in a good night’s rest.
Consider Your Physical Self
It is amazing how often mental and physical health can go hand in hand. Certain vitamins and minerals that you can get from food can really help with mental wellbeing, as well as keep you healthy. Long days spent working and planning, with no adequate nutrition, can soon make you feel run down. While it can be tempting to opt for takeout or snacks to maximise your time spent planning, these will likely do your body no good. Instead, take that time away from planning to cook, and eat, a nutritional meal.
Exercise can also do a lot for you, thanks to the endorphins that it releases within the body. Spending some time outside, or at the gym, can allow you to keep your body fit and healthy. This can also have an additional benefit of helping you to slim down for the big day, if you so choose.
Certain people simply don’t enjoy working out, so you may want to trial a different number of exercises until you find one that you generally enjoy. When a lot of your time is spent in stressful discussions and situations, it can be good to have something fun to do that will also benefit your body and mind.
As mentioned before, you may end up bogged down by the smallest of details, causing you stress and upset whenever anything doesn’t go to plan. If you notice yourself becoming highly critical of everything, and fixating on every single aspect, this could be a good time to step back and re-evaluate.
Journaling how you are feeling can help you to highlight the parts that are causing negative emotions. From here, you could then create a list of the parts that do truly matter to you, whether that is dress design, venue, or even time of year.
Try to keep this list as short as possible, as these are the items that will have limited budging room. Your partner could also do the same.
After this, you can keep referring back to the list to help yourself to understand whether or not a problem is dire, or if it is one that you previously decided was open to some flexibility. By stopping yourself from panicking about each and every aspect, you may be able to reduce your stress levels and keep your mind a bit healthier.
When you have friends and family who are looking forward to spending your big day with you, this might open up the possibility of some support during the planning stages. While you may have ideas about certain parts, you may not be able to achieve them all yourself.
Due to this, it can be a good idea to get your loved ones involved. If a person offers help or support, you might want to consider taking it. Whether this involves them helping you decide on bridesmaid dresses, or even nipping out to collect items, these are tasks that you no longer need to concern yourself with.
If wedding planning really isn’t doing your mental health any good, one option is to simply forego all of the fuss entirely. Eloping at your local registry office may be something that you want to consider. While the wedding might be important to you, your mental wellbeing is far more vital.
When it all gets to be too much, just remember that you could easily submit your wedding notice and take the simple route. You may not go through with it, but sometimes knowing that there is an easy ‘out’ can help you to remain motivated.
Your wedding day is supposed to be a happy and momentous occasion, which could be marred if you are feeling low and like it has been too much of a burden. By finding ways to let go of those tiny, often insignificant, details, and focussing on what is truly important, you may be able to create wonderful memories to carry you through your married life.
Devoting some time towards self-care can also be key, especially if this time is spent alongside your partner.
Be realistic about your wedding day. You may have a set budget, or limited amount of time to prepare. Letting go of perfection, and instead contemplating the ways that you can actually enjoy both the planning stages and the day, can help to reduce the levels of stress.
Again, it is important to acknowledge both the positive and negative emotions that you feel. If your mental health is fragile, or you feel yourself slipping into a relapse, it is imperative that you seek out help from a medical professional.